My Awakening Story – Becoming a Spiritual Healer and Teacher
This is such a personal post for me, and I do this to put into words what I experienced…in hopes to inspire you and encourage to see yourself, see Life under new eyes.
My healing journey started in late 2014, after a period of debilitating depression. I had always been highly sensitive, empathic and intuitive, I felt so deeply by nature.
But I used to absorb everything right to my heart, didn’t have my energetic boundaries in place. I had always been the “good kid”, but deep inside I felt misplaced and misunderstood, as if I wasn’t “living up” to who I really was.
During my first university years, my family started crumbling down under the weight of my parent’s constant fights (me trying to be the peacemaker), economic issues. Also me not knowing how to take care of my empath soul, that absorbed everything and turned it inwards.
I developed lots of stress, self-hatred and depression around that time. Granted, it was a painful and confusing period in my life, but looking back it shaped who I am today.
During late 2014 I felt a slow build-up until the point I realized I couldn’t live by other people’s truths, I needed to be myself and follow my own path, or it could literally be like death to me.
I tried going to a therapist as my last resource, for some guidance and someone telling me I wasn’t going crazy.
I just entered her office, we exchanged a few initial words,
she asked me how she could help me…
And I just started crying.
I broke down in the first 5 minutes.
And she was there, observing me with compassion.
She saw me. She did. I feel she “knew”.
I don’t remember much about what we talked, cause I had like a big knot in my throat, and just mumbled incoherent things sprinkled with little cries.
But what I remember the most from her was her empathic presence and serenity, which helped me re-compose myself again…
And calmly, she just suggested me a book, “The Knight in Rusty Armor”
I got home and read it. I found some good insights there, and it sparked my curiosity and thirst for similar spiritual books…
It’s so funny, I just went one time with her, and I feel that was the only push I needed to go in the direction I needed for my own emotional liberation!!
And she knew that.
I wanted to free myself from my own pain, frustration…
So I was kind of desperate at that point, and I started meditating…
Nothing fancy, just being there with myself.
Just observing and breathing.
And, one day, it happened.
Slowly and without even realizing it, I entered a trance-like state, layer by later, going deeply within…
And I suddenly felt an immense, glorious, blissful peace.
I call it my “spontaneous awakening”, or “rebirth”.
The beginning of my metaphoric “Second Life”
As if my brain just was completely, totally reseted to an original, brand new state.
I vividly remember feeling as if seeing the world for the first time, an incredible peace, Love, Silence, Surrender and Oneness so difficult to put into words. ( I’m tearing up now as I write this…)
It felt as if in my previous life I had been living in 144pp, and then I was catapulted into 4K HD, the highest, brightest resolution!!!
Over the next two weeks I lived in this state of precious calm. It was so surreal, to the point my mind hardly uttered a thought in a day. I had to actually “make an effort” to THINK SOMETHING!!
So weird!! I was pure Receptivity and Consciousness.
(later on, my next spiritual mentors would explain me more about what happened. I had something like an “ego-death”. And reading “The Power of Now” helped me immensely to feel validated!! Eckhart knows!!)
And during these two weeks I learned so many things. Or better said, I “remembered”.
My Soul made my physical body remember, catch up with the wisdom I had, the same ancient wisdom of eons of lifetimes you also have, my love.
I realized the eternal, horizontal, powerful Nature of the Present Moment.
It really is all we have.
I realized we are truly ONE.
You don’t end with your skin.
You are also the air, the chair you’re sitting in.
The “space” between objects.
You are your loved ones.
Of course, that blissful, otherworldly state receded, and in a way, “I was back to a normal”
A new normal, I have to say. But I didn’t feel bad at all.
Those realizations still lived within me,
Like a delicate murmur in the core of my Being
and I could go back to them when I needed.
And I was sure of one thing. I sincerely, passionately wanted the same for others. The same liberation and sense of transcendence, hope, endlessness, oneness, and LOVE!!!
Oh, I so longed to show that possibility to others!!
That’s how started my Second Life.
Me, being truly Me, undressed from all the heavy foreign baggage,
labels, expectations that didn’t truly serve me.
Also deliciously knowing I am not my mind, nor my thoughts, not my emotions…
I am Life and Consciousness.
So nowadays, you can see me being a very optimistic, fulfilled person!!
I let myself experience all my spectrum of emotions, see my thoughts, knowing they will pass.
And hey, I still get caught up in anger, fear, despair, sadness,
but thankfully, most of the times I can see myself from above at the same time
and those feelings are softly, gently transmuted.
I’m very childlike, curious, naughty!! Since those weeks, I cry more.
I cry super easily. I actually love crying with all my soul, laughing with all my soul.
This is me, loving myself as I experience myself in a human form.
And, after that first awakening, I deeply realized my Purpose.
Two words: To Inspire.
To help others awaken to the truth of their being, to fully step in their own magnificence reclaim their power and glory as conscious creators, as changemakers…
to feel their inherent interconnectedness with all forms of Life,
with the movement of the Stars,
with the movement of Humanity,
Now more than ever.
My Soul’s Calling is inspiring and assisting sensitive souls, empaths, creatives, artists, “old souls” and Lightworkers: people like you and me who seek love, wholeness and freedom, not only for themselves, but for all humanity and our Mother Earth.
Now there are incarnating more and more beautiful older souls on a mission of raising consciousness through the arts, music, activism or politics.
I know many of them are just awakening to their own compassionate powers and need loving encouragement to embark on such grand feats. So, my biggest wish would be inspiring and empowering the present & future changemakers, creatives and visionaries to stand in their power and fully BE the change they want to see in the World.
This fulfills me on such profound ways, my beloved friend!! “You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one” .
But yes, I’ve been crying just like you.
Yes, I’ve been worried for the world and my people, it would be illusory not to empathize and feel touched by all what’s happening.
I also confess that today, April 22th at 09:33 am,
I am almost by all definitions “broke”, with roughly 100 soles (about 32 dollars) on my account,
My phone broke down two days ago, and I used it to record my videos and doing videocalls,
and it’s complicated to get it repaired under these circumstances.
I am frustrated.
Both my parents are also economically struggling,
but I still have a deep trust within me, within us.
Behind all that, there’s a soft peace.
Like a secret lake deep in a beautiful forest, the sun kissing it with its golden rays.
In my previous post, I shared about finding relief and even happiness during trying times.
That’s how today I ventured in something I never thought I would do…
I created a Patreon account to ask you for your support, my dear friend.
I have felt the deepest calling to make myself even more available to awakening souls who need guidance. And also support my family and my younger brother’s university education during these times.
A Patreon membership is a way for you to support me “in the physical, material world”, so that I can have more freedom and peace of mind to create free high quality, meaningful and inspirational writings, audios and videos, lovingly crafted with all fibers of my soul. Something that I am truly honored and thankful to do!!
I know these moments are quite daunting for all of us, so I really want to make my work accessible for as many people as possible!!
So, if you made it until here…wow, thank you for reading me!!
I love you so much. I really do.
Thank you infinities, with all my Being…
Any way you chose to support me, either in Patreon, or liking and sharing my content, or feeling my words in your heart, I’m truly honored and grateful!!
Keep on being magnificent, See you next time!!
Super Cosmic Love,
-Ro
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PS: You can find all my free videos here on my YouTube channel. !!
In case you need more in-depth and long term assistance through a holistic, metaphysical and spiritual perspective, take a look at my private mentoring https://www.rosealiaga.com/sessions