To me, our Shadow is those aspects, ingrained patterns we have that are not in alignment with our Essence (our ultimate core of Love, Truth and Beauty)

For example, patterns of evasion, procrastination, distraction, not-so-kind reactions we have when someone triggers us….things that prevent us from living a fulfilled Present, nurturing and growing our dreams and goals.

In my experience, shadows stem from fear.

through the past years, my shadows have morphed but they have this in common:

1. fear of not being good enough.

2. fear of being “too much”

Their dance manifested as Fragility. All my life I’ve been highly sensitive, intuitive & spiritual…”with one feet in two worlds” For some time I felt misplaced and misunderstood, as if my abilities weren’t nurtured, let alone needed by this world.

I didn’t have many role models or people that validated my interests, feelings & perceptions. I felt like a loose balloon! And so was born Apathy. She was world-weary, indifferent & cold. She protected me from caring & giving too much, but also made me numb.

Later on in my life, I thought I would fail my own expectations, I would never build the simple, purpose-driven, free lifestyle I’ve always dreamed of, contributing at my own pace. I feared others would deem my offerings moot, unnecessary, too “intangible” and impractical. Hence, I would find myself helpless in the world.

The “meanie” in my head said: “who would pay to have spiritual counseling? who needs this woo-woo stuff anyway? Life has more important things to be taken care of.”

And so, the fear of “being too much” was like the flip side of the coin:

I’m too much. Too weird. Too lazy. Too apathetic. Too passionate. Too exhausted. Too “hyper”. Too fatigued.
Too indecisive. Too fragile.

Well, there could be some truth to each statement, but the “too” part makes things bigger and scarier than they actually are.

Now I know that little voice comes from cultural conditioning and fears that are transferred from generation to generation, the imprint of society focused on obtaining, winning, competing, giving more value to material and “useful” things. We all carry some degree of unhealthy imprinting, and it’s lifetime’s work to shed off and keep at bay. Those voices were learned at some point during my childhood, either by feeling myself threatened or put down by others.

So now, how DO YOU HEAL THIS?

as in, how can you integrate your Shadow/Fears as a teacher and ally in your world?

Radical Presence and Self-Acceptance!!

The first step to healing is, embracing the state & place where you are at.

Gather all the love, kindness and acceptance towards yourself as much as you can. And then, approach that fear. Observe it. If you want you can talk to them…

Here I am. I see you. I feel you. Thank you for taking care of me…I see you are trying to protect me from who knows what uncertainties and dangers—But hear me out.

I’m safe. I’m good. I’m infinitely capable and worthy. It is my birthright to BE who I want to be. Express what my Soul wants me to express. And now I choose to take the next step towards my healing.

I try to see things as they are. Minimal judgment and labels (they are natural & useful to an extent, but I must be aware of the fine line that separates them from healthy to undermining)

I also remember that ALL undermining, self-deprecating voices in my mind are simply NOT TRUE.

We are Love. We are Light.

Our Soul speaks softly, tenderly.

Our Soul always encourages, inspires and lifts us

My fears exist, but they have no power over me anymore. Of course I am human and I experience fears and doubts, but I know that I can return to my natural state of trust, my center, my true Essence.

I see fears for what they really are: information on how to act and avoid danger.

I soothe my fears expressing them out loud to a trusted friend  (what I’m doing now!), reading or thinking positive things, day-dreaming lovely stuff, writing, moving my body, asking for help, helping others, tapping (EFT), doing yoga, etc.

It can take as much or as little practice to each of us. Only you know yourself to determine this. But the more you “SEE” these fears (and I’m not talking about pushing yourself to “accepting” them yet), the energy automatically shifts. It’s miraculous. Ever heard, the observer influences the observed?

And then, just naturally, a more inclusive and accepting state will come to you.

Usually, Integration happens without you even realizing it…

Our bodies, our Beings naturally gravitate toward a state of Wholeness and Peace. We sometimes need to get out of our way in order to our inner wisdom come through and heal us.

So to recap:

• Embrace where you are at.

• Be as kind and loving to yourself as you can.

• Observe your Shadow/ Fears with curiosity and compassion.

• Share your fears with someone trusted, or journal them.

• Soothe yourself by doing other activities (move your body- allow the energies to flow and transmute within yourself)

• Go about your life, and let the healing and integration come by themselves.

I hope you found this useful!! If you have any stories or would like to share your process, please tell us in the comments!!

With love and inspired swag!!,

Ro

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